“I got it for SEX reasons”
In which we discuss the many forms of birth control and our experiences. There are highs, lows, horror stories, and Maisie apparently thinks 60 years old is old (??). Also, vaginas are bumpy. Wild.
What Birth Control Are We On?
Some people get it for their acne, some people have periods that suck a little too much, and some people, like Lucy, got it for sex reasons. Whatever the reason is, let’s discuss what each of our Throbbers’ birth control situation is.
(We’re going to be presenting a lot of birth control terms without context, so for anyone confused, here’s a good basic resource. And here’s another one!)
Sissel has an IUD (Mirena) after wanting one for many years. Before that, she tried the pill for three years, and also the Nuva Ring.
Maisie tried the Nuva Ring and then switched to the Mirena IUD after Trump got elected (just in case lol), and now she has Nexplanon.
Hannah got the generic pill in college, but had lots of mood swings on it, and then got Implanon (which was the standard goes-in-the-arm thing before Nexplanon). She’s now on her second rotation of the arm birth control.
Kelly has never been on birth control, but has considered getting it for acne (but her skin’s better now, thanks Hyram).
Gina has been on the same pill since 18, though it has been through several rebrandings. She also, unusually, has never had a placebo week, and doesn’t particularly remember having hormonal changes.
Lucy got on “the pill” at 18, and didn’t notice anything strange during 3-4 years of taking it, but then took a break from it and got very hormonal when she got back on. After that, she switched to the Nexplanon arm implant, which she still has now (and which, she says, has probably worn off now).
Why Did We Pick That Birth Control?
Lucy has had her ups and downs with Nexplanon, but she especially loves that you don’t have to remember to take pills.
Gina has incentive to remember to take the pill because as soon as she stops the period starts, so she’s more careful about it than she is about other things.
Lucy prefers the lack of human error that comes with the arm implant since sex, she says, involves enough human error as it is.
Sissel agrees. She’s generally late as a person (we, the rest of the Throbbers, can attest to this) and kept taking the pill late. It also caused her to gain weight and give her “emotional ridiculousness.” (Not taking it consistently also contributes to that).
The Throbbers add the caveat that Sissel’s emotional issues also probably had to do with her shitty roommates at the time, but that’s a rant for a different day.
Maisie’s Horror Story
Her body doesn’t like birth control, she says. But periods and PMS depression are inconvenient. It hasn’t changed with Nexplanon, and in fact it’s made her acne worse, hooray. (On Zoom her skin looks good, Gina says).
In 2017, Maisie decided to try going on an IUD because she was worried about future availability of birth control. (Thanks, Trump).
She didn’t trust the doctor who put it in (Maisie says that she was very old and didn’t seem super confident with this semi-new procedure). She feels more comfortable with younger doctors who seem more up on current birth control.
Side note, when Trump got elected doctors got overwhelmed with IUD requests. (Lucy also re-upped hers and Hannah considered.)
We’re looking forward to post-pandemic sex. Everyone’s horny! Very little rejection! Whee!
But one way or another, the IUD was put in and Maisie went about her life.
Maisie doesn’t really masturbate with her hands and doesn’t put her hands up there so she doesn’t check often, but after 4-6 weeks you’re supposed to check to make sure the strings are still in place. Maisie did check, and didn’t feel it, but didn’t think much of it because she doesn’t feel up there often. Also it’s confusing to feel around and there are a surprising amount of “nobbly bits”, as Maisie puts it. (Vaginas aren’t always smooth, spread the word).
But she’d stopped having a period, hooray, but 4-5 months went by and weird hormonal symptoms started happening so she decided to have it removed. Quick reach in there and get it out, no big deal, right?
Well, the doctor couldn’t find it when she looked up there, so she got a pair of long, scary pliers to try to get up there but she still couldn’t grab it. (Needless to say, but this…didn’t feel great.)
Maisie got imaging done, and ended up having to have the IUD surgically removed (under full anesthesia) because it had migrated upward.
Upon reflection, it seemed like the IUD got put in crooked. (Much like Gina’s first tampon.)
After the procedure, the doctors warned that she would have the heaviest period of her life and she had to use pads since she was unable to use tampons or menstrual cups after the surgery, and it was very gross.
While under anesthesia (but why, we ask), the doctor asked Maisie if pregnancy was a possibility for her due to recent sexual activity. She was loopy and just laughed and said “only if 6 months counts as recent lol” which made the nearby students laugh, and then she passed out.
Sissel’s Birth Control Journey
Sissel had a different experience with IUDs: she actually had to convince her doctor to give her one.
She had done a bunch of research into birth control on her own and knew what she wanted. She knew she was bad at taking the pill, but that was the default at the time. (This was in the naughties, as we decide to call them.)
At the first consultation, Sissel didn’t feel comfortable advocating for herself and took the pill. She felt more comfortable later, especially after she switched away from her pediatrician.
Her later doctor wanted to try her on the Nuva Ring first and essentially wouldn’t let her try an IUD. It seems like this might have been a holdover from the times when IUDs were much more dangerous.
The original IUD circa the 1970s had a cloth string which was very bad for bacteria, and infections were very common. After they switched to using metal strings, IUDs became much safer.
Another side note: Advocating for yourself in medical care is very important, especially as a woman and/or person of color. If you are denied care, ask them to state in writing why they are denying it!
Sissel didn’t want to see the Nuva Ring doctor again because she felt pressured into taking a birth control she didn’t actually want.
Nuva Ring was a strange phenomenon, in hindsight. We discuss the confusion about it possibly falling out all the time. (How did it not?)
Sissel much preferred her next doctor, who seemed much more open and actually listened to her, and she finally gave her the IUD.
The IUD insertion process was much better than Maisie’s. Sissel and her doctor talked about the plot of Jane the Virgin, and it didn’t hurt too much, but she did feel faint after. It hurt more the second time, when she wasn’t talking about Jane the Virgin.
This doctor also talked her out of getting a cheaper IUD alternative which seemed to be much lower quality but was being pushed by pharmaceutical companies at the time. So, we support.
Sissel also appreciated the fact that after the procedure when she was faint, they helped her get food and drink and sat down with her for a while. All in all, it was a very positive experience.
The Good, The Bad, and the Scrape-y
Lucy’s PCP was also great about birth control. She particularly liked that her doctor advocated for a specific form of birth control that she was very familiar with. (Lucy had had her as a doctor for 13 or 14 years straight, so they knew each other fairly well.)
Hannah also tells us about her experience getting her Nexplanon inserted. The doctor that put it in was pregnant which Hannah found a little ironic and funny. The initial shot hurt a lot and later, when she got it replaced, it was tricky because there was scar tissue around the implant. The procedure also did burn a bit because it took so long that the numbing started to wear off. Scrape-y scalpel sounds, gross gross. We truly hate this description.
On a ferret side note, ferrets have shoulder blade implants for adrenal disease that is sort of similar to humans getting Nexplanon.
Gina finds the under-the-skin stuff touchy because she had traumatic ankle surgery in college which involved lots of scar tissue.
In general, we agree that under the skin things (such as Nexplanon or IUDs) are the most high stakes types of birth control, while birth control pills are more work day-to-day.
Sissel points out how women (especially black women) have historically been guinea pigs for the medical industry. On the flip side, however, there have been many times when things have not been properly tested on women because medical science has considered male “the default.” (Under prod us or over prod us, pick a direction!)
Birth Control Through The Ages
We start to reminisce about older, stranger forms of birth control. Many of our mothers, for example, introduced us to things like diaphragms or sponges.
The sponge is the OG, along with the “french letter” (aka a condom). There were also intestine condoms in Rome and of course, the classic pull-out method a la Bridgerton.
The pull out method is 80% effective at preventing pregnancy (as long as there’s no pre cum involved), while an IUD is 99.9 percent effective.
So Simon wasn’t as dumb as we thought he was I guess? (But come on, there was definitely pre cum involved here.)
Kelly’s Perspective
So, why has Kelly never taken birth control and what does she think about all this? For one, she has a very predictable period and doesn’t want to fuck with the hormones too much.
For the record, though, she’d probably try the pill first, and she’s pretty good at remembering to take meds. (You can take them at the same time as antidepressants, lol.)
Gina also takes them at relatively the same time every day, before she goes to sleep.
A Tilted Uterus Is A Thing, Apparently
Gina also has a terrible IUD story! It’s of her college roommate Laurel who described the experience of having her IUD put in as like being stabbed repeatedly with a hockey stick.
Apparently she had a tilted uterus, which might very well be what made Maisie’s IUD experience so unpleasant, also.
Do You Still Get Your Period on Birth Control?
The answer, of course, is that it varies. Some people get them every three months, some people get them every month, some people just get spotting, and some people just get…dirt.
We discuss what color periods we all get. Chunky burgundy, anyone?
Gina has a hot take: she actually could skip her period on her birth control but chooses not to, partially out of habit but partially because her periods are instructive–they vary month to month depending on how well she’s been eating.
Science thing: Apparently it’s a relatively new/ “unnatural” thing to get a period every month? Also we get our periods much earlier in life than people used to because of the fat content of our diets.
Gina likes birth control partially just because it makes her periods more predictable.
SUPER fun fact though: Periods are actually bad for your body and having them puts you at a greater risk for cancer. Apparently women who have had babies are at a lower risk for cancer, but not because of the pregnancy itself, it’s because the pregnancy causes them to skip periods that they would have otherwise had.
Basically, periods are a kind of cell regeneration which can lead to mutation in the cells, aka cancer. Also, having that many hormone fluctuations isn’t great for you, either.
To answer Kelly’s original question, though, you often still have periods while on birth control, but they are much lighter.
Back to Gina’s friend: She had three months straight of periods after removing her IUD (which is fixable, but it still sucks).
Which brings us back to the importance of advocating for your own health! It’s important! Though we all bemoan the bad timing of all this. During a pandemic is not the best time to go in to your doctor’s office for a casual chat.
Insurance Is Sexy
We’ve all had very annoying bureaucratic experienced dealing with health insurance, birth control, sexual health, et cetera. Being a woman in America is just a treat.
Gina wants us to take all our worst bureaucratic experiences and make them sexy somehow. We have…mixed feelings about this.
We may or may not be writing bureaucracy erotica in the future (but probably not.)
WHY AREN’T WE PUTTING THIS RESPONSIBILITY ON MEN, I ASK YOU
Why don’t men have birth control??? Besides condoms, the responsibility over which is somewhat shared. We’re talking about medical procedures, birth control pills, et cetera. Well, apparently it has been tried, but men reported that the side effects were “too severe.” (We have limited sympathy about that.)
Let’s give all men vasectomies! They’re reversible, everyone, calm down.
Also, What’s The Deal With Men Getting Circumcised?
We agree it’s a weird practice, and one that seems to be specifically American in many cases. It can decrease pleasure, it doesn’t really help with cleanliness (clean your penis either way, sheesh), and it is literally just genital mutilation.
Sissel’s partner, who is circumcised, says that if it had been up to him, he wouldn’t have gotten it done. So, there’s one no vote.
Ah, To Be A Regency Lady Who Knew About None Of This
We also briefly discuss sex education during the Regency and Victorian periods. It was pretty bad…or was it? It seems to depend on class. Working class ladies knew most of the ins and outs (heh), but upper class women were kept in the dark about how sex works.
We agree that, in a Bridgerton-type world, we would not want to be a lady. A second son, on the other hand, we would be pretty happy with.
We bring up the fact that, before birth control was so stigmatized, everyday people knew lots about it. They knew how to make those intestine condoms and it was perfectly fine! You know, sort of.
On that note, Hannah ends with the wise words: Fuck my period.
For more resources on birth control, check out these books:
Controlling Reproduction: An American History
Birth Control In America: The Career of Margaret Sanger
Contraception and Abortion in Nineteenth Century America
Thank You For Listening!
We are all able-bodied, cisgendered white women. We know our background and experiences only cover a percentage of those around us which is why we want to supplement this with guest speakers, research, and you. If you have opinions and experiences you’d like to share we would love to hear it! If, however, you just want to spew hate at us then we can’t stop you but instead we invite you to suck our collective clitorises. Hater. This podcast also contains mature sexual themes and swearing. No, clitoris isn’t a swear word.